Fun with Human Resources paperwork

One of the department's "core competencies" for the year is "Interpersonal relations", so we each get to describe how we're going to work towards developing that "core competency."

My first draft to my boss went something like this:

Core competency: Interpersonal relations

Developmental goal: Try not to kill stupid people and bury them in the backyard

Actions/Steps/Tactics: Do not kill stupid people and bury them in the backyard

Metric (How manager will measure my success): No stupid people found buried in Laura's backyard

For some reason I'm being asked to change this, though I think it's perfect.

Comments

[BP]

The problem is obviously that you put "found" in your metric. This sets the manager up, so that when they need to justify not giving you a raise, they would actually have to produce the dead bodies from your backyard. That would be work for your manager.

Nice attempt at setting yourself up for success, unfortunately your success can not be based upon your managers laziness.

[Berta]

Well, considering she doesn't have a backyard ...

[Laura E. Hunter]

So what I'm gathering from this is that I need to bury the bodies in one of your backyards? Berta's will be easier, since it won't involve transporting corpses across state lines.

"Honey, call the police, someone's in the backyard!"

"*yawn* Go back to sleep, Jeff, it's just Laura."