The frequent traveler security checklist

Are you:

• Walking away from the security checkpoint in your socks?  Check.
• Balancing your jacket, belt and shoes over one arm and your 2 carry-on bags over the other?  Check.
• Clutching your passport and boarding card firmly in your teeth because you've run out of hands?  Check.
• Muttering (not really all that) under your breath about today's arbitrary TSA behavior?  ("So...I have my liquids/gels in a Tesco plastic bag, but because it's not -your- plastic bag, I have to step out of line and transfer them into the plastic bag that you've just handed me that's the same frakking size as mine?"  Yeah, that would be...check.