Kudos to Marriott tech support.

"Hi, this is Adam ["Dude, you sound more like a BOB, but whatever"] from Marriott tech services, how can I help you?"

"Yes, the Internet access in my room has been non-functional since last night. I've tried both wired and wireless, it looks like I'm getting a valid IP address but I'm not making it past the default gateway."

*pause*

"Okay, Ms. Hunter, let me see what's going on there."

Had me back online in under a minute. No "what's your operating system?", no "Did you try rebooting?", no nothin'. So either there's a branch in the script that reads "You have a caller who has a clue", or the guy figured it out on his own.

Go Adam, regardless.

(I mean, I have yet to see episode III of Dr. Horrible! This is a crisis!)